Brute Beast

Psalm 73:21-22

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,

I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.



In this verse, David had been tempted to envy the propserity of the wicked. He even said that his efforts at living a holy life had felt pointless when he was embittered. It's strange to hear someone describe a longing or a desire that produces grieving, ignorance, and animalic behavior. Usually when I think of hoping or wishing for something, it is accompanied with excitement or joy. However, in David's case...as in my own...he was angry and full of self-pity.



It's easy to praise God and to speak fondly of Him when things seem to fall into place for me. I talk about His grace and His forgiveness...but now I see yet another glimpse of how much I desperately need a Savior. The more and more circumstances haven't gone my way, the more I've become like a brute beast before the Lord...and before my family...before my wife. I'm instinctively proned to quick fixes and doing just enough to stay out of trouble. This isn't the first time I've seen this in myself. I can't keep track of how many times anymore and I'm beginning to lose hope for myself.



My only hope is that David said his 'foot had almost slipped' and that the Lord was 'always with him'. Even though David almost slipped and gave himself over completely to his temptations, the Lord held him with His right hand. I'm putting my hope in that now.