Media Fast Day 8

Well we've made it to week 2, Lord. I have to admit, the fast has been good. Learning to live with less noise has gone against many natural impulses, but has satisfied more than expected. I see that each time I reach for the tv or other form of media, I'm not really allowing myself to slow down. I'm just cluttering up my life with more stress when I run to the tv for companionship and adventure.

Granted the fast hasn't rescued me from the real struggles we face. It wouldn't have been foolish to believe the opposite should've happened. Today was filled with stories of co-workers that have fallen very ill and Saharh had some pretty rough encounters at work. I understand a little more of what it means to feel powerless and honestly, how it feels when uncertainty about the power of prayer goes through my head. Jon is having a heart procedure done tomorrow and as usual, I felt the impression to pray for him. I'm embarrassed to pray in front of co-workers. Lots of different concerns enter my mind when I realize the Spirit is prompting me to intercede. I don't want to sound stupid, I don't want to look like a hypocrite and most of all, I don't want the prayer to fall on deaf ears because I'm feeling all of those things. Do You understand when that happens, Lord? Would You still receive the prayer, even though it's a battle for me to get the words out? I like to think so, but what do You think?

Saharh and I are still growing together. I met with Sandy today for the first time since my last counseling session with her. Sandy says that I'm co-dependent of Saharh. John Eldridge says I am. He says that I seem to get confirmation as to whether or not I've got what it takes to be a man, from Saharh. I think they're right. I want to be free of this co-dependency, but I have a feeling it will take some time. The prospect of being emotionaly honest with her, but not brutally honest, is a fine line. I'm fearful, but I believe these statements are true so I trust You to bring about the change needed. I'm a little concerned about the next Waltz lesson, but I don't want to quit going. I like the thought of dancing with Saharh and maybe the Waltz lessons are a good parallel of our marriage. Perhaps as we learn to glide across the floor, we'll learn to walk together in this life.

Thank You Jesus for Your goodness to me. Thank You for being so patient and for bringing about the change that brings life. As a Scripture I read on Sunday said, we long to exchange the mortal for what brings life.

Back home...

We're back home from a weekend with the parents. We got to have visits with both sets and the time was well spent. Even though Saharh and I are not watching tv, we still got regular updates for the national championship from my mother of all folks. :) My thanks to both sets of parents for helping us keep to our fast. I know that not watching tv is not always an easy thing to give up.

Congratulations to Alabama. I can't say I'm thrilled but they represented the state and the SEC well from what I hear. I know it means I'll have to put up with a bunch of talk from co-workers but I suppose that's part of being a fan.

Tomorrow I get to jump back on the FileNet migration train again. Praying for wisdom on going to Missouri to see Saharh's grandmother. Good night all!